So....When did you know?

There comes a time in most of my conversations with other parents, when the question arrises. "When did you first KNOW?"
Having a child on the spectrum isn't like having a child with full blown autism, where you meet them and don't have to wonder, "hmmm is there something a little off with Johnny?"
Most people, in fact take a while after meeting my son to realize there is something just not quite right...Sometimes when I have explained they say, with some relief in their voice, "Oh that is what it is...." Then quickly try and cover the comment like a fart they let escape.
It is not a problem to us. In fact I think it is great when people finally get it. My son does too. He tells people he has aspergers. I have taught him that. I feel like if you are going to go around with your hands over your ears, banging your head into walls and holding picket signs up against other children, (long story) you should probably be able to explain yourself. Not defend, just explain. 
Now he walks into loud rooms and yells things like, "Well this is an Autism Nightmare!" (and then puts his hands over his ears)
He seemed to be relieved when we first really talked about what autism and aspergers meant. He finally had a reason why the other kids drove him crazy. Up to that point it really baffled him, that these small people were just so darn annoying. They just wanted to run around and yell and push into you and they never listen to grown ups. Once I explained that his brain is just wired differently it really seemed to help.
     So when did I know? Hind sight always being 20/20, looking back there were things that stand out now....the fact that his favorite toy when he was 14 months old was a Bic Pen... ( we called him Bob Dole) or that he didn't have any friends in pre-school.  This last clue is one I still defend. I go over that in my head still when I can't sleep. There really weren't any good kids at that school, well there were two good kids, and we are still friends with them, the family at least, even if my son was horrible to their son most of the time....seriously the rest of the kids in that school? Not children you would want in your home.....
Do other parents do this? Probably. Hopefully. So when he hit kindergarten and we made him wear a t-shirt that read, "The views of this child may not necessarily reflect those of his parents" on the first day....we should have really known something was up...

I am not kidding. We really made him wear that shirt. He had been going through this charming phase of saying things to people that would curl a bald man's hair. I had already sent my wonderful daughter through this kindergarten class, these people knew me...I had to do something to protect my good name. So it was shortly after the start of kindergarten when my son was forced to conform to circle time and recess and 19 other kids who have no concept of personal space. Seriously....have you ever seen a bunch of five year old's try and sit in a circle and not touch their neighbor? My son was doomed.
Soon I was getting many interesting phone calls from the school asking me to come and remove my son from the premises...he was no longer welcome for the day. This went on for a while until the right balance of medication and teacher education was reached. Apparently teachers who feel that boy's should not cry just need to be talked to by Mom's like me. My son can cry when ever he darn well pleases and when there are 19 other kids in a loud room with too many colors and too many distractions and the teacher is explaining something he already knows....well tears are going to come. 

Hammer, Mop, Toilet. What?