Ben had developed an obsession with all things WWII and we happen to have a visit planed with Uncle Boyd. Knowing he would not talk about the war, I worried that Ben would get (no pun intended) shot down if he asked a specific question. It went well, they enjoyed each other very much. At one point Ben got a little choked up and said, "Uncle Boyd, you aren't just family, you are a piece of history!"
That got him. My sweet little boy made a grown man at a loss for words....he stumbled over his next few words and to be honest I don't remember exactly what he said in return, but he was grateful, and stunned. Later on the phone he would tell me how much it meant to him that Ben gets it. He understands how much his Great Uncle gave to this country.
Fast forward to this year at school. I was at back to school night the first time I heard that his class would not be saying the Pledge of Allegiance to the American Flag. Instead they would say a very beautiful poem about the earth. A sort of pledge to the Earth. I wanted to say something that night, but a room full of adults who just want to get home after a long day of work is not where I want to air my political feelings. Then, to be honest, I forgot about it.( I'm not proud of this....I blame my ADD)
After September 11th Ben told me that they aren't saying the pledge. His biggest concern was that they didn't even say it around September 11th. He felt this was somehow letting the country down. I told him I would talk to the teacher about it. Here we go....
Let me just say, since this is mostly about my son and his struggles, that for those of you who don't know me I do have very strong political and religious beliefs. I also have very strong friendships with people who do not believe the same way I do. I learned long ago that friendships meant more to me than being right all the time. Now I rarely voice my opinion to people. I just go day to day living my life....(well not really but.....)
So when I had to talk to the teacher I was very surprised that I was really really really upset about this. I got teary eyed and insulted when she said there just wasn't time to say the pledge every day. She went on to explain the school wants to promote global citizenship and that the Pledge Of Allegiance to the American Flag didn't really FIT with this. I gave all the appropriate arguments and got exactly nowhere.
The next day I received a call from Ben's aide. He was a mess. He wanted to display the flag he brought to school in his classroom. (Not only do they not say the pledge, but no where on the school grounds is there an American Flag!) SO Ben, being Ben....brought his own. Not having social skills or really understanding how to stand up for himself he was highly enraged when the teacher told him she would have to clear it with the school director before he could put the flag up. His aide gave many ideas as to how to solve this issue, and nothing short of saying the pledge as a class everyday would settle it for Ben. SO I picked him up early.
That was Thursday. He missed school on Friday. I am hoping we have convinced him to return on Monday and wait to see how all this works out. He says he doesn't want to go to school at a place that doesn't respect our country. I understand this. Perhaps what made me cry when I spoke to the teacher about all of this is that I kept picturing my Great Uncle. I heard the tears and sadness in his voice when I called him on September 11th 2001 and he told me he couldn't believe his great country was under attack. I pictured the pride on his face when he showed my son his war ribbons, and I heard the humble way he told me how happy he was that Ben knew his war time efforts mattered. I have never preached patriotism to Ben. He just figured it out all on his own. He loves America, he is proud to be a citizen and he wants to say the pledge every day when he is at school.
I have no idea how this will play out but I am sure I have offended the entire staff at his school with my blatant love for the flag. If we do stick it out, will my son be treated different? Will we? I can tell you one thing, Ben will not let this drop. He latches on to things like a dog to a bone, and there is no letting go. In this case I am proud. When his obsessions are about other things......it's difficult.
He was in tears most of the day Thursday after school and some of the day Friday, although we did start our day at home with the pledge....we all said, "I pledge Allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, Indivisible with liberty and justice for all."
We timed it. It takes 12.7 seconds to say the whole thing.
No time to say that? Really?
I have to say this is very strange. I posted this and re-read it. The bottom was missing....where I said the pledge! It was just gone....I have re-written sort of what I originally posted. I can't remember what it said except that I know I had written out the pledge! That is so weird.
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